So, I realize that I've never posted on here before; typically I leave this up to my dear wife but, tonight I stumbled across an interesting document that I thought I would share with everyone. It's something my aunt spoke at my dad's visitation. I've often thought about it, but hadn't actually read it in a while. Last month it was 5 years. I really miss him a lot and think about him all the time.
Paul – A Gentle Man and a Gentle Life
Our family has gathered here tonight to celebrate the life of Paul – to remember his 54 years of love…and humor…and wisdom…and quirkiness.
Paul touched each of us here in a special way…I’ll share with you some of the ways I know he did that.
Mom, he was your firstborn, and he loved you as dearly as you loved him. He was a gentle child – he loved to be read to, and to read. He was the young boy who befriended the fledgling bird – and didn’t want to fight the kid who punched him -- though Dad thought he needed to learn how to fight. (In those ways, Paul was really more Deibert than Knittel.) He was the young man who felt the call to the ministry, despite the fact that that such a calling took him hundreds of miles away from you. But, although he grew up and moved 700 miles out of your nest, he never was far away from you in thought. You will remember his calls (often made when he was home alone so he could have you to himself), his entertaining emails (the Iditarod will never be the same…), and his yearly visits – and, oh how you wished they could be more often.
Elaine, he was the love of your life – and you were the love of his life. I remember when he was first dating you, he used to call me and tell me about this amazing woman he was falling in love with (but he didn’t tell me you had your hair in curlers the night you met). You are an amazing woman – and you and Paul together were even more amazing. Your sense of humor is a perfect complement to his…and we have all benefited (or suffered) from the combination. We are so thankful that God brought you together, and that Paul brought you to us. He loved you entirely, and gave you all of himself – his messiness, his gentleness, his patience, his impatience, his love of fishing, his computer fascination, his devotion to you and your children, and his commitment to his pastoral life. And amazingly, you accepted it all. I couldn’t have picked a better match for him.
Janine – you are his oldest child – and he loved you dearly. You were the first kid he taught to fish, and skip rocks, and enjoy long car trips from Iowa and Missouri to visit grandparents in Texas, South Dakota, or Nebraska. You were his first teenager – you tried his patience, but won his heart. And he opened his heart to love Chris, the man you love. That’s another special skill Paul had – he unconditionally widened his circle to include every new family member.
Kristen – you are his middle child – and he loved you dearly. From the first Christmas gift you deposited in his lap, to the replica of his little green trike you gave him -- you had him hooked. He taught you all the things he taught Janine, and also taught you to play pinochle – but swears he didn’t teach you to bid like that! And he opened his heart to love Duane, the man you love.
Stephen – you are his youngest child – and he loved you dearly. I think you were the first baby he ever held (for longer than it took to baptize one), and he couldn’t get enough of that. Your mother and your sisters hardly had the opportunity to hold you. By the time you came along, he was better at teaching kids to fish and skip rocks, and he had developed his skill at making long car trips fun by crafting “scavenger hunt lists” of things for you to find along the way (and I know, your sisters were older and they always won). But you had the advantage of having Paul’s influence in your life from day one – and I see so much of Paul in you. You are also a gentle man….with Paul’s sense of humor (and that coupled with the sense of humor from your Mother makes you particularly dangerous!). And Paul opened his heart to love Megan, the woman you love.
Ila Fay, Elise, Linda & Jerry – you are his in-laws – and he loved each of you dearly too. He showed you his love for Elaine, your daughter and sister – and came to love your Texas food – he told me about marvelous things from your kitchen Ila Fay. And he opened his heart to love those you love.
John, my husband – you are his other in-law – and he loved you dearly. He shared your interest in computers, and cherished time spent with you. He liked nothing better than hanging around with you while you worked. He marveled at all you know about computers and computing. He didn’t get to see your new business – but I’m guessing he’ll oversee it from time to time. And he opened his heart to bless our marriage and baptize our daughter Beth.
I had mentioned before how Paul widened his circle to include every new family member – and we have lots of new members. I wasn’t sure what order to put them in, so forgive me there was a better way.
Chris – you are the husband of his oldest child – and he loved you dearly. Perhaps not from the first night he heard your voice in the midst of a flood, but he was very proud of your maturity and spoke often of how good you are in your role of husband and father – and he certainly prized your automotive skill.
Jessica – you are his first grandchild, and only granddaughter – and he loved you dearly. What a joy you were to Paul! From the moment he laid eyes on tiny little you, he took his job of grandfathering very seriously. It was for you that he first started “hiding” things in his shirt pocket for you to find each time he saw you. And he loved the opportunity to baby-sit you – I think that he and your grandmother had to argue sometimes about who got to go play with you, and who had to stay in Chillicothe and work!
Andrew – you are his first grandson – and he loved you dearly. From the scary moments in the Iowa City hospital, to the time he taught you to shape dumplings, you had a special place in his heart…so special that he even convinced Santa Claus to leave your stocking at his house in Chillicothe last Christmas. And he loved your Dad, Jonathan, dearly too.
Caleb – you are his second grandson – and he loved you dearly. You have challenged him in interesting ways. I have heard stories about how your nature sometimes runs contrary to Paul’s gentle, easy ways – he says you know how to push people’s buttons – particularly your mother’s! And your grandpa Paul’s pockets were full of things for you to find too.
Duane – you are his middle child’s husband – and he loved you dearly. Though a bit uncertain about the beginnings, Paul told me he finds you to be a good, solid, man – and a good match for Kristen. And he opened his heart to love your sons.
Landon and Logan – you are his “bonus” grandchildren – and he loved you dearly. He was excited to tell me all about the two of you, and was delighted to add you to his flock of grandkids last year. He regularly emailed pictures of the two of you to us so we in Wyoming could get to know you too. He loved to think up schemes to include you (and everyone else) in Super Bowls and World Series – and he crafted great GPS hunts for you in Chillicothe.
Adam – you are his newest and littlest grandson – and he loved you dearly. You haven’t been around long enough to know what a special grandpa he was – but your mom and dad will tell you how much he enjoyed you. Paul told me that you were first crawling when he saw you just a few weeks ago. He emailed pictures of you to Wyoming too.
Megan – you are soon to be the wife of his youngest child – and he loved you dearly. He was proud to show you off to us last summer – and I may be wrong, but I think Paul was the ONLY person in this family who didn’t say you ought to wait another year before you get married! He told me that Stephen has said for a long time that you are the “right one.” He wanted you to be part of his clan sooner rather than later.
Beth – who isn’t here – you are his only niece – and he loved you dearly. He loved watching you and Stephen grow close together during the past summers – and particularly liked playing Pinochle against the two of you. He also enjoyed the Trivial Pursuit matches you always wanted us to play. Your great windsock heist last summer particularly amused him.
As for me – I am his little sister – and I know he loved me dearly, and I certainly loved him. In my growing up years I never heard stories about any sibling rivalry when I arrived – instead I heard stories of how he entertained me (falling and cutting his lip in the process one time), and how he stood by my crib and told me he was sorry I was crying. Mom of course asked him what he had done to make me cry, and Paul assured her he had done nothing, but was just so sorry I was crying. And he continued through all the years since to be my gentle, caring brother – always there for me when I needed him. I will miss sitting on my front porch talking with him in August (because that’s when we always did that).
So there you have it – but a glimpse of how Paul touched each of us. We all love him – we all miss him terribly – and we all must stay connected. I hope you will all consider coming to Wyoming in upcoming Augusts. He would want it that way.
Paul was a gentle man who led a gentle life. He saw Christ in every person he met. He loved God, and he loved us. We had to give him up – but he and Arnold will be watching over us all.
God bless you Paul…we loved you dearly.
